To be or Not to be is the real question











{March 26, 2009}   Update from surgery…

Just wanted to give an update post-surgery. I had my upper endoscopy of my GI yesterday. Celiac disease was ruled out, although, the doctor said I might actually be developing a slight wheat allergy. Hence, that would be the cause of symptoms mimicing some of the celiac. I am very pleased with that answer.  However, my lower esophagus was inflammed and irritated, so the physician did a biopsy of it. Also, it was discovered that I have a hiatal hernia in my lower/side of my stomach along with the lining being flaky. Hence, why I am not breaking down foodstuffs or why somethings make me ill after taking them, since my stomach is not able to do what it is supposed to. I am pretty pleased with the results, but don’t actually go in for my follow-up visit until next week. Until then, ttfn!



{March 23, 2009}   Surgery Wednesday

Well, I am having a minor surgical procedure this Wednesday.. an upper GI scope to look for A) an unknown bleed that could be causing the anemia or B) and the most likely cause for dead/flattened villi due to Celiac disease. The gastroenterologist did not exactly come out and say B.. but he IS doing a scope.. which will either confirm or deny it, and did do a blood test for it. Also, turns out a cousin of mine has it and both of her parents are carriers. . one of her parents being my great granddad’s 1/2 brother’s child. So, at least I know where it actually came from.. the British side of my family.. DOH!

I did not even know what Celiac disease was after the doctor kept asking me about it, and a friend looked it up and was shocked to see that I pretty much have every single symptom except for 1 for the disease, which would be the reason I would not be absorbing iron, hence the severe iron deficient anemia.. that caused the way too high platelets and low RBC counts. I stay very tired these days.. in fact, I am beginning to wonder if a certain author got into my head somehow when writing her vampire series.. so many weird coincidences LOL.  Along with this latest round of testing, I do still have to have a teratoma removed within about 2 years time, but can’t until the anemia is resolved. I could bleed out on the table is why, so that has caused me a slight nervousness about this upcoming surgery.

I know an upper GI endoscopy is no real big deal.. right? It is just that all of these, “what if..” warning bells keep going off in my head. I am honestly worried about the doctor doing any biopsies because of having trouble with easy bleeding at the moment.. or to developing a blood clot in my leg and it deciding to break off and go for a ride of its own. I am also worried about being so tired right now that I just am simply afraid I guess that I will not come back out of it. Simply said, it would be so easy to let go because I feel soo tired and worn out these days, and am not sure I really care too much. I suppose, what I am trying to say is, I am not afraid to die, but more afraid of what it would do to my family and friends. I am sure things will be fine, but it never hurt anyone to be prepared, so in that saying.. it has been fun, and I’ll see ya at the end of the week… until then.. “I think to myself, what a wonderful world…” -Louis Armstrong



{February 25, 2009}   Temporary awayness

I apologize for my absolute absence and slackerness, but for the time being, I am taking a temporary break from my blogging. I will check in ever so often, but right now, my energy level is below nill.. until the doctors can get some stuff straightened out with me, this is simply something I don’t have the extra energy for.. but please, I encourage you to check out some of the attached web blogs I have on here.. they are excellent and entertaining..

See you guys soon!



{February 8, 2009}   Moving right along…

Well, so far, so good I say..

Monday… tomorrow.. I go in and discuss with my doctor what to do about the small, benign tumor on my ovary. But the thing is.. I am not worried.. I have expected this a long time and have been prepared for it a long time. This IS something I CAN and WILL survive through.. maybe not totally unscathed, but for my better health, we’ll do whatever is needed.

I need to give a special thanks to novelist Stephenie Meyer for her Twilight book series. I was honestly lost, sad, and totally and utterly depressed, and her books pulled me out of that deep wallow I had found myself in.. now I just wonder, “where in the HELL is MY Edward?” lol Only time can tell, but her series allowed me to escape the rough real-world reality that I found myself  wallowing in, besides making me feel better to know there are other klutzy people out there as well LOL ;)  As for the movie.. it is okay, but I would suggest anyone to simply skip it, and go pick up the book itself.. it is much better! And also thanks for making pale the new tan.. muahhaha



{January 11, 2009}   BRRRRRRRR

This Texas weather has simply been craaazyyy! One day it is 84, the next we are getting freezing rain.. el yucko.. as I like to say. No, that is not a real Spanish phrase to my knowledge, just one of those Spanglish things going on here LOL. I can say a Spanish phrase that is often misspoken is “no problemo” by all of us English speaking Americans. Technically, that is SOOO incorrect, it should actually be, “no problema”… the difference is the ending, but I digress..

Back to the weather I say! It has been one of the coldest winters I think I can remember. To me, a normal winter is 50 to 70 degree weather with a few fluctuations, but this year, it has been a more steady 30-50 degrees instead. With my development of his myeloproliferative disorder, I am feeling it more so than in the past. My hands and feet stay cold a LOT now, which is weird for someone of such a hot natured body system. One of the first things I do when I walk into work.. run up to one of the guys and put my ice cold hands on their arms, by their wrists. For some reason, that seems to work for warming up my hands when other things aren’t. I have even tried running my hands under hot water, but alas, that does no good either. The guys don’t mind so much, especially since they are being very supportive as my friends, knowing the health crisis I am going through. Plus, they also are aware that I mean nothing by it, and I asked if it was okay to do so. They like playing macho.. so it’s just a feed to their ego, at least so they tell me LOL.

I have also been sooooo surprised that one of my plants has not only survived, but is THRIVING in this weather. I had bought a mixed hanging basket last summer. It contained a Creeping Purple Jew and a Swedish Ivy. The Jew plant thrived during the hot, hot summer, and the Swedish Ivy is now thriving with the near freezing temps. It is even blooming, which totally blows my mind. I have the plant sitting in the corner on my patio, and the Jewish plant has died, but is acting as an insulator to the Swedish Ivy against the cold concrete. Plus, when they re-did our patios 2 summers ago, they put the wood siding all the way down to the base of the concrete, so the plant is not in the direct wind, which my apartment patio faces due north. As for my purple Jew.. that is my favorite houseplant on the planet, so earlier in the fall, before the temps fell, I gave my mom a few cuttings from it to plant. She planted those cuttings in a pot, and when the temps fell, brought all of the plants into her garage out of the cold. The plant has thrived, though no where near as well as during the summer. But, that is good for me because she says I can have cuttings back off it to replant in the hanging basket and other pots on my patio during late spring. I would bring my plants inside my apartment, but i tried that before, and my cat decided to dig the dirt out of the pots, plus, she likes eating my Purple Jew, and before you ask, no, it is not harmful to her system.. I checked MONTHS ago. I will perhaps attach a picture of my plant once I get all the files transferred to my new computer from the old..

Well, we’ll see what mother nature has in store for us this week, so more to follow…

:)



{December 18, 2008}   A Dine-In Tax?!?!

I have something to gripe about. I could have used an expletive, but what good would that do me?

I was recently told by a relative that they went to McDonald’s to eat in and were charged a “dine-in tax.” I honestly thought they were pulling my leg, but they were not. Yesterday, I decided to feed my craving for some McDonald’s chicken nuggets, and decided to dine-in instead of wasting gasoline going through the drive-thru. I decided to read my receipt and noticed that it was true, that I was being charged to DINE IN at their restaurant! WTH!?!? As if most restaurants don’t already charge us enough, now they are taxing us to sit down inside. That being said.. don’t they think of how much I am actually saving THEM in paper bags, lids, extra ketchup, parking lot clean-ups, etc by coming inside to eat, not to mention saving their employees from noxious fumes they are inhaling by working drive-thru, plus the electricity they are saving. If I am going to be charged a tax, then I expect more for my money to dine-in. Such as more comfortable seating, free desserts, a free upsize or simply something to justify this extra cost to me. This whole situation just rubs me wrong and somehow seems illegal to me. This is going to definitely be added to my pet-peeve list!



{December 13, 2008}   Only Time Can Tell

Only time can tell what tomorrow may bring…

I have been pretty quiet as of late. I was on a vacation from work the week before last, and honestly, I just needed a break/vacation from the world as I know it. I am feeling quite refreshed after my little siesta.

For my vacation, I pretty much left town the entire week. I went to my parents, which was fantastic. It was totally refreshing to be away from everything I see on a DAILY basis.. it was nice to simply be HOME!

This past week though, I had to follow up with my general practitioner (GP) after having bloodwork drawn in response to an infection I had developed. So below.. is the rest of the story..

Approximately 3 & 1/2 weeks ago, I had a minor accident that left me a bit lame in the leg. It all started when I accidently broke the lid on one of my Corningware bakeware dishes. I CAREFULLY placed the broken shards IN A BOX in the trashcan. Next night, I decided to clean the apartment, which I traditionally do later in the evening.  So, about 11pm, I gathered up the trash, and decided to take out the garbage bag because I knew it had the broke glass in it, and I did not want to forget to take it out since the next morning was trash day. As, I was walking out from under the breezeway of my half of my apartment building, I felt something barely brush my leg. I simply thought it was a box in the trashbag… and I was sooooo wrong! As I walked back into my breezeway, and had nearly reached my door, I felt a pain in my right calf, looked down, and to my horror, noticed blood welling up and gushing out of my leg. At first, I really thought.. whoa, that really made a bad scrape.. but it didn’t hurt then.. and then realized, uh no, it was NOT a scrape I was looking at, I was seeing the INSIDE of my calf. Apparently, a shard had either escaped the box in the bag when I took the bag out of the can OR it has sliced straight through the box. It cut a perfectly straight, nearly 3 inch slash a centimeter deep into the right side of my right calf.

Well, I knew I had to get the bleeding under control ASAP! I went inside my apartment, found my first aid kit, and prepared to get things under control. I used the antiseptic wipes from the kit, then held closed the laceration as best as I could while applying 8 butterfly bandages to it. Then, I packed sterile guaze on it, put a large bandage on that, and used surgical tape to apply pressure to the wound. After that, I propped my leg up above heart level and covered up with a blanket because I remember feeling a bit cold. Later, I realized, thanks to someone else pointing it out, that I had gone into shock. But, I did still have enough sense to get on the internet and look up what do to do in this case.. if I could put off a trip to the emergency room (ER) or not. According to SEVERAL informational and RELIABLE websites (some sites that I have access to because of my pharmacy technician license thank goodness!), since the glass had not severed a major artery, was not above the knee, and only showing subcutaneous fat tissue, I had a maximum of 12 hours to be seen before complications would set in. So no, I did not go to the emergency room. Not the best idea, but not the worst either. I simply could not afford a huge bill that I would have received from the ER on top of my ER copay. In a tight economy, it is money I simply do not have.. which I am embarassed to admit, and because honestly I did not want to be put out on the street and end up homeless due to it. Scary to know that things have gotten THAT bad!

So, next morning, I got up early and got myself to the minor emergency (a regular copay with my insurance) after finding out my GP was booked up past noon. Upon arriving, I was seen within 30 minutes.. By the time the nurses/doctor got around to looking at it, it had been almost 10 hours since the accident. The doctor informed me that they do not like to close up lacerations after 8 hours, but, since the wound was so cleanly cut, they felt they could still get it done since it had not gone past 12 hours. Upon removal of the bandages.. especially the butterflies, the wound decided to bleed out quite a bit. In the end, the doctor ended up putting 11 metal staples in my leg! He informed me I could have gone to the ER, but I was probably right in my assumption of not being seen in under the same amount of hours as had already passed (scary thought huh?) by waiting to go to the minor emergency clinic. The doctor informed me of some stuff to look out for.. signs of infection, prescribed antibiotics, instructed me on how to care for the laceration, and sent me on my way with a warning to stay off of it as much as possible.

Well, staying off of the leg proved nearly impossible at first.. work simply could not hardly accomodate it.. and by Sunday, I was experiencing huge feverish spells on top of swelling and sweats by the wound. Tuesday morning, I woke up with fever and severe, whole body chills.. as soon as the minor emergency opened, I called them, and was told to get there ASAP. They did an X-ray to verify no glass remained in my leg, drew blood to culture, gave me a HUGE shot of clindamycin (and yes, my backside STILL hurts slightly from THAT shot), and changed my antibiotic to one of the most powerful available without being hospitalized.

The Saturday after Thanksgiving, things were looking up. The staples were removed, and no sign of infection remained, but my bloodwork results were still not back from the lab. Monday, I called the minor emergency and was informed that I needed to follow-up with my GP as soon as possible because of an irregularity that showed up in my bloodwork lab results. Apparently, my white blood cell (WBC) count came back normal (which is abnormal with severe infections) and my platelet count came back way too high. This was the week of my vacation, and since I could not get into my doctor’s office any sooner than the following Monday, I headed home, because home is where the heart is.. truly.

During my appointment, my GP explained that she felt the results were simply a lab error, which is actually quite common. She wanted to retest my bloodwork using their labs, and would let me know the results once they were back in. She explained that too many platelets could lead to severe, life-threatening blood clots, but told me not to worry because she felt the results were off. Her theory was the WBC count being normal proved lab error since it was not elevated while I had a bad and obvious infection, but wanted to make sure of this. She informed me we would repeat the test in 1 month if the results came back normal or would send me to see a hemetologist if they did not, alternatively though, suggesting I see a cardiologist for some other weird problems I have been experiencing.

The reason she wanted me to see the cardiologist is due to my blood pressure’s crazy, yet drastic dropping that it keeps doing. In fact, it was on the normal, but low side that very morning, which she had noticed. She asked about dizzy spells, which I have frequently had my whole life.. I just thought it was normal.. and apparently, it is not LOL. Well, I did not get the appointment made because I decided to wait out the test results.

The results are in…. and it is not good news. The original test results were not a fluke due to lab errors.. the second test’s results came back verifying the first as of yesterday. I am being referred to a specialist in blood disorders. Apparently, the leg laceration might have been a blessing in disguise, simply because I have blood work done every year during my yearly checkup because my mom has Graves’ disease (which I do not have.. yet). None of my other results have ever came back skewed in comparison to the norm… until now. What does this mean? Honestly.. I don’t really know. After doing some research, several medical websites suggests that thrombocytemia (high platelet counts) can cause major blood clots, which can lead to strokes or heart attacks if they break loose, OR, if left unchecked, can cause the WBCs to get out of whack, leading to leukemia or other cancers of the bone marrow. I have also learned that severe drops in blood pressure, cold hands and feet, dizzy spells, frequent nose bleeds, frequent, severe headaches, etc are ALL symptoms of having high platelets. My mom suggested it is due to the meds I have to take for another genetically inherited disease I was lucky enough to inherit *please note my use of sarcasm here*. I then reminded her of the dizzy spells, headaches, and nose bleeds I have had since early childhood.. before I ever had to take a single maintenance medication for my condition. And.. when I was in high school, I tried to donate blood several times, and I was finally told not to do so anymore because my blood was too thick.. it clots too fast. It takes over 1 & 1/2 hours to get half a pint from me.. Coincidence.. I think not.

At this point, I feel partially stupid and partially embarassed. All of the warning signals have been there, but in my ignorance, I could have never ever imagined putting them together as a warning for what was to come. Further updates will come your way as I have them, but for now, I am very down and disheartened. I also gave the guy I am seriously dating the option of an out at this point because illness will either make or break a relationship. He informed me of how he was quite offended at me for offering that, that he has no intention of leaving me anytime soon.. that was support I really needed..



{November 14, 2008}   Happy Happy, Joy Joy

Here’s an update.. my eye surgery went well, as did the checkup. The doctor said all is well, and my next checkup will be in 3 months. That means, I no longer have to wear the goggles to sleep and I can now go back to exercising and get back into my routine.. YEAH!!!! I cannot tell you just HOW much I have missed exercising… strange huh? When you get stuck in a routine that you have learned to enjoy, you just do not want to stop doing it. Plus, I have SOOOO much more energy when I have been exercising.

Now onto other things. I simply cannot wait until Thanksgiving this year. One reason is that I have my last vacation of this year starting the following week LOL. I NEED a vacation, very badly. Another reason, is that the guy I am dating and I are planning on spending a few days together. It will be nice to get away from here at least for the week. Sometimes, you just need a break from all you know and see on a daily basis.

Plus, this year will be different than last year hopefully. Last year, I was with a jerk that left for his native country for a couple of months right after Thangsgiving. When he came back.. he was all different, and it seemed he did his best to break my heart. This year, someone, a nice guy, asked for me to spend time with him instead. Since I cannot be with him on Thanksgiving, I will be with my family, and then afterwards, will see him in a few days. I am honestly happier now than I have been in a very long time. I have a sweet guy that absolutely adores me for me. Not for what I look like, not for what job I have, but for me.. on the inside, although he still says I am gorgeous on the outside too.. I’ll never get that, but whatever makes him happy LOL. I hope everyone else has a good Thanksgiving with safe traveling…



{October 29, 2008}   Happy Halloween… BOOOOO!!!!!

Happy Halloween!!!

 

 

Ah, I simply love Halloween. Why? Because I get to act like a little kid, dress up, and be goofy, just like the rest of the world, all without being judged. Such fun. I always said I am always going to be a Toys ‘R Us kid forever LOL.

 

For those of you who do not understand this holiday, let me explain it a bit better. Halloween is also called All Hallows’ Eve, and was the original New Year which used to be November 1, aka All Saints’ Day, each year. From what I understand, it had to deal with a holiday known as Samhain that the ancient people of the British Isles, the Celts, participated in. They believed that on October 31st each year, that the boundaries between the two worlds of the dead and the living became thin or blurred, allowing ghosts and shadow people to cross back over into our world to damage crops and cause great sicknesses. They also believed that faeries and other such creatures could play horrible tricks on them this day of the year.
The idea of dressing up in costumes began in this yearly festival in order to try and trick the “evil spirits” into thinking the living were actually one of “their own.” It was a way the ancients sought to appease those evil entities. Jack-O-Lanterns were carved in the image of the human face to scare off these superstitions, but were originally carved from turnips and rutabagas, not pumpkins.

To me, Halloween means great fun for kids, lots of bobbing for apples, or at least eating caramel or candied apples, fun costume parties, lots of carved pumpkins, ghosts, goblins, witches, and skeletons for decorations. It is also a time of fun haunted houses, scary, nighttime hay rides, and rediculously, crazy-long mazes, sometimes made of corn. It also means LOTS and LOTS of fun horror movies. My favorite genre of movie is horror, so that is a MAJOR plus of the holiday. All sorts of fun movies, films, and tv shows on during the month of October.

I have especially grown fond of watching the tv shows Most Haunted Live (http://www.travelchannel.com/) and Ghost Hunters Live (http://www.scifi.com/ghosthunters/live/) during October, and it never fails, one of them will be live Halloween night. That’s at least 6 hours of live, scary content on television plus being able to watch the cameras online LIVE. Sometimes you catch stuff on them, and sometimes you don’t. And yes, I do believe in ghosts and spirits, I have seen them for as long as I can remember. I do not know if this is due to my Native American heritage, due to nearly dying as a baby from double pneumonia, or a combination of both. It doesn’t matter, once a believer, there is no going back.

 

 

(above image courtesy of Most Haunted Live, at www.travelchannel.com)

For those of you taking your kids trick-or-treating or heading out to your own costumer parties, please have a fun, but safe time! I will be home, watching Ghost Hunters Live this year, especially since I am having an eye enhancement laser procedure on my right eye earlier that afternoon. My little brother’s reaction was, “You are letting someone operate on you on HALLOWEEN?!?!” I am like, dude, it’s LASIK enhancment on one of my eyes.. which means, when I have to wear those funny looking aviator, bug-eyed eye goggles, I’ll fit right in with the rest of the USA that day!

 

 

:)     Trick or Treat


{October 16, 2008}   Music..

Okay, well, I have obviously been big time MIA.

So here are the excuses part… Sorry folks, I just got busy and got sick for a bit. Work has been a big stress inducer. I understand why we give flu shots in the pharmacy, but I do not know why people don’t read all of the pages or at least skim them when you give them paperwork. Do they do that at the doctor’s office? .. just ignore the parts that say “patient to fill in here.” *sigh* Also, I have been working a little overtime here and there when I can get it. It doesn’t come around often, so when it is offered, I run with it. Then, for the past two weeks, I have had a severe sinus infection. It hit me on a Saturday morning, and by Monday, I just felt plain crummy, and went to the doctor. Well, it seems, it affected my ears more so than I originally thought. Saturday night and into most of Sunday, I came down with my first ever case of vertigo. If you have never had that.. don’t wish it on your worst enemy. I even had to call into work, which I try to almost never ever do.. I felt like I was on a merry-go-round headed left that would simply not stop. I had to lay down, or it was “toss the cookies” time. Perhaps that is TMI, but it is simply how my last 2 weeks have gone. Plus, a co-worker at work had surgery today, so my mind has simply had a sign up that said “Sensory Overload, others need not apply at this time…”

As for being sick, I mentioned on a friend’s blog that I have dealt with the customers from hell these past couple of weeks. I lost my voice most of last week… and even had a customer ask me if I WAS CONTAGIOUS! That being said, he’d dropped off his prescription to me in the first place, and sat in the waiting area for the approximate 20 minutes it took for us to get it filled, etc., rubbing elbows with several coughing, sneezing, hacking-up-their-lungs people… and he was worried about me contaminating him? I wasn’t running a fever and I use hand sanitizer constantly. I am notoriously known for sneezing inside my work coat or inside my shirt simply to keep FROM spreading germs. Some people can just be plain moronic idiots. I should have asked him to fill out the I D 10-T form.. for those of you who may not get the joke.. just smoosh it together.. ID10T and you see what you get. Now onto better things…

So I was thinking, what can I write a post about..and I thought HEY, what about music…? I listen to a little bit of everything, but am not particularly found of new country or hard rap. That being said, I don’t fit the look of my favorite band’s genre.. heavy metal. I don’t wear all black, gothic style clothing (not since occassionally in high school), I don’t have tattoos or any other body piercings except my ears, although there was a time when.. never mind LOL. Yes, my favorite band is.. drum roll please…. Metallica! That being said though, my favorite all time song is “Take My Breath Away” by BERLIN.. not Jessica Simpson. She just plain ruined it with her version.. she should stick to making Dukes of Hazzard movies, and leave the real singing to those who can carry a tune. I can say that because I couldn’t carry a tune to save my life if the truth be told. Other favorite bands include Stone Temple Pilots, Aerosmith, Celine Dion, Beyonce, Shakira, Enrique Iglesias, Garth Brooks, George Strait, Louis Armstrong, Nelly, plus many others.. As you can see, it’s pretty well diverse.

Part of the diversity would be due to my trumpet playing abilities. I started playing the trumpet my 5th grade year of school and played in school continuously through my second year of college. I even wanted to minor in music until a car accident ruined that for me. To make a long story short, I tore a tendon in my bicep in a car accident that some teenage guys caused when they failed to yield. It was either hit them, or another car head-on on rain-slicked roads. I simply cannot play my trumpet now for long periods of time, but I do play for the enjoyment of it these days. Some of my favorites to play are classical music and holiday music. There is just something about holiday music that pulls me in. I also love watching marching band competitions, and would love to be in a drum and bugle core, but I simply do not think my tendon would hold up to those rigors anymore. I even know how to do the work for flagcore, although I was never in it, but had a best friend that was, so I positively know my arm will not hold up for that. I had to go through extensive physical therapy for a couple of years, getting my nerves desensitized as they called it, and now get nicknamed the weather woman at work. My arm is a great weather predictor.. if it hurts, rain is almost 100% guaranteed. If my ankle hurts though (unrelated injury on campus), the weather is simply going to switch between hot and cold fronts. It does make our life amusing at work, to see just how accurate my aches can be.

Back to music, what are some of your favorite bands, songs or genres? I love the website projectplaylist.com. I can listen to songs all day long from all sorts of choices. Also, I am into very soothing, folk music at times too. I love listening to Native American folk music and Celtic music besides classical pieces. When I cannot sleep, I simply turn these on, and they melt away my tension so that I fall asleep before I know it… which is where I am headed at the moment…

:o ) g’nite



et cetera