Just wanted to give an update post-surgery. I had my upper endoscopy of my GI yesterday. Celiac disease was ruled out, although, the doctor said I might actually be developing a slight wheat allergy. Hence, that would be the cause of symptoms mimicing some of the celiac. I am very pleased with that answer.  However, my lower esophagus was inflammed and irritated, so the physician did a biopsy of it. Also, it was discovered that I have a hiatal hernia in my lower/side of my stomach along with the lining being flaky. Hence, why I am not breaking down foodstuffs or why somethings make me ill after taking them, since my stomach is not able to do what it is supposed to. I am pretty pleased with the results, but don’t actually go in for my follow-up visit until next week. Until then, ttfn!

Well, I am having a minor surgical procedure this Wednesday.. an upper GI scope to look for A) an unknown bleed that could be causing the anemia or B) and the most likely cause for dead/flattened villi due to Celiac disease. The gastroenterologist did not exactly come out and say B.. but he IS doing a scope.. which will either confirm or deny it, and did do a blood test for it. Also, turns out a cousin of mine has it and both of her parents are carriers. . one of her parents being my great granddad’s 1/2 brother’s child. So, at least I know where it actually came from.. the British side of my family.. DOH!

I did not even know what Celiac disease was after the doctor kept asking me about it, and a friend looked it up and was shocked to see that I pretty much have every single symptom except for 1 for the disease, which would be the reason I would not be absorbing iron, hence the severe iron deficient anemia.. that caused the way too high platelets and low RBC counts. I stay very tired these days.. in fact, I am beginning to wonder if a certain author got into my head somehow when writing her vampire series.. so many weird coincidences LOL.  Along with this latest round of testing, I do still have to have a teratoma removed within about 2 years time, but can’t until the anemia is resolved. I could bleed out on the table is why, so that has caused me a slight nervousness about this upcoming surgery.

I know an upper GI endoscopy is no real big deal.. right? It is just that all of these, “what if..” warning bells keep going off in my head. I am honestly worried about the doctor doing any biopsies because of having trouble with easy bleeding at the moment.. or to developing a blood clot in my leg and it deciding to break off and go for a ride of its own. I am also worried about being so tired right now that I just am simply afraid I guess that I will not come back out of it. Simply said, it would be so easy to let go because I feel soo tired and worn out these days, and am not sure I really care too much. I suppose, what I am trying to say is, I am not afraid to die, but more afraid of what it would do to my family and friends. I am sure things will be fine, but it never hurt anyone to be prepared, so in that saying.. it has been fun, and I’ll see ya at the end of the week… until then.. “I think to myself, what a wonderful world…” -Louis Armstrong

I apologize for my absolute absence and slackerness, but for the time being, I am taking a temporary break from my blogging. I will check in ever so often, but right now, my energy level is below nill.. until the doctors can get some stuff straightened out with me, this is simply something I don’t have the extra energy for.. but please, I encourage you to check out some of the attached web blogs I have on here.. they are excellent and entertaining..

See you guys soon!

Well, so far, so good I say..

Monday… tomorrow.. I go in and discuss with my doctor what to do about the small, benign tumor on my ovary. But the thing is.. I am not worried.. I have expected this a long time and have been prepared for it a long time. This IS something I CAN and WILL survive through.. maybe not totally unscathed, but for my better health, we’ll do whatever is needed.

I need to give a special thanks to novelist Stephenie Meyer for her Twilight book series. I was honestly lost, sad, and totally and utterly depressed, and her books pulled me out of that deep wallow I had found myself in.. now I just wonder, “where in the HELL is MY Edward?” lol Only time can tell, but her series allowed me to escape the rough real-world reality that I found myself  wallowing in, besides making me feel better to know there are other klutzy people out there as well LOL  As for the movie.. it is okay, but I would suggest anyone to simply skip it, and go pick up the book itself.. it is much better! And also thanks for making pale the new tan.. muahhaha

Okay, so I wanted to give everyone an update on my health issues.. so here goes..

The doctor discovered that I have a severe iron deficiency meaning I am severely anemic. He is pretty confident that this is the cause of my thrombocythemia and said with each progressive CBC done, my platelet counts have been coming down although in very minute increments. He put me on an iron therapy and I am to repeat the CBC in one month, and then follow-up in 3 months with him. At that time, he will let me know how things are progressing, but was quite confident that getting my iron counts up would reverse the thrombocythemia along with the symptoms it has caused.. before any permanent damage is caused. I am very excited about this.. it has given me my HOPE back. My mom says that the prayers and good thoughts must be working, and I am definitely inclined to believe this as well, but still keeping my fingers crossed. I am still supposed to keep de-stressed right now since obviously the platelets are still quite elevated.. I don’t want a heart attack or stroke.

However, the CT scan came back with good results except for one tiny mass discovered on my right ovary. I suffer from polycystic ovaries (PCOS), but the doctor informed me that the mass discovered on my right ovary is not a cyst, that it is definitely a tumor. That being said, he informed me the tumor is less than one centimeter in size, and concurred with the radiologist that at this time, it is benign. He is forwarding the results of the scan to my specialist so he can decide in what direction to proceed. He explained it is the cause of the pains I have been having in my right side, yet doing my best to ignore. I have always refused pain meds for my PCOS because tylenol should be good enough and I don’t want to become like the people I see in the pharmacy all the time.. prescription drug addicts basically.

Some people could see this as another downfall, but I am simply happy and ecstatic. I can live without an ovary.. or two, if necessary.  I cannot live without my blood, regardless, of being accused of being a vampire or zombie due to my pale, ghostly skin coloring LOL. I have been prepared for the female issues for a decade and think God does work in mysterious ways…

This Texas weather has simply been craaazyyy! One day it is 84, the next we are getting freezing rain.. el yucko.. as I like to say. No, that is not a real Spanish phrase to my knowledge, just one of those Spanglish things going on here LOL. I can say a Spanish phrase that is often misspoken is “no problemo” by all of us English speaking Americans. Technically, that is SOOO incorrect, it should actually be, “no problema”… the difference is the ending, but I digress..

Back to the weather I say! It has been one of the coldest winters I think I can remember. To me, a normal winter is 50 to 70 degree weather with a few fluctuations, but this year, it has been a more steady 30-50 degrees instead. With my development of his myeloproliferative disorder, I am feeling it more so than in the past. My hands and feet stay cold a LOT now, which is weird for someone of such a hot natured body system. One of the first things I do when I walk into work.. run up to one of the guys and put my ice cold hands on their arms, by their wrists. For some reason, that seems to work for warming up my hands when other things aren’t. I have even tried running my hands under hot water, but alas, that does no good either. The guys don’t mind so much, especially since they are being very supportive as my friends, knowing the health crisis I am going through. Plus, they also are aware that I mean nothing by it, and I asked if it was okay to do so. They like playing macho.. so it’s just a feed to their ego, at least so they tell me LOL.

I have also been sooooo surprised that one of my plants has not only survived, but is THRIVING in this weather. I had bought a mixed hanging basket last summer. It contained a Creeping Purple Jew and a Swedish Ivy. The Jew plant thrived during the hot, hot summer, and the Swedish Ivy is now thriving with the near freezing temps. It is even blooming, which totally blows my mind. I have the plant sitting in the corner on my patio, and the Jewish plant has died, but is acting as an insulator to the Swedish Ivy against the cold concrete. Plus, when they re-did our patios 2 summers ago, they put the wood siding all the way down to the base of the concrete, so the plant is not in the direct wind, which my apartment patio faces due north. As for my purple Jew.. that is my favorite houseplant on the planet, so earlier in the fall, before the temps fell, I gave my mom a few cuttings from it to plant. She planted those cuttings in a pot, and when the temps fell, brought all of the plants into her garage out of the cold. The plant has thrived, though no where near as well as during the summer. But, that is good for me because she says I can have cuttings back off it to replant in the hanging basket and other pots on my patio during late spring. I would bring my plants inside my apartment, but i tried that before, and my cat decided to dig the dirt out of the pots, plus, she likes eating my Purple Jew, and before you ask, no, it is not harmful to her system.. I checked MONTHS ago. I will perhaps attach a picture of my plant once I get all the files transferred to my new computer from the old..

Well, we’ll see what mother nature has in store for us this week, so more to follow…

Well, in light of recent issues. I have one more I have added to it. I decided to break it off with the guy I was supposedly dating. But, I have decided he was just another jerk that was playing me for an idiot. One can only believe for so long that he is working 60-80 hours per week, and after reading excerpts from a book, “He’s just not that into you” I saw the writing on the wall, and gave him his freedom. Yes, I sent him a long email to do it, but the damned asshole had not even given me his phone number.. he always conveniently ignored that question, although he had mine. Hard to break up with someone when they don’t do that huh? I gave him several examples of how he fit the book, that I truly believed that he was spending that extra time with someone else or had gone back to his ex. I told him as much, and he never responded, so I have taken that as my answer, that I never was worth it to him. Just another jerk in my ever increasing repertoire.

Now, I have a funny question. Did anyone else ever notice that sumo wrestling looks awfully similar to a pair of male gorillas stomping out territorial boundaries right before they spar? LOL, I was watching the history channel, and it simply came to mind.. and I needed a distraction before I just sit down and cry again. My life has simply not been fair as of late, and I am doing the best I can…

Do you ever wonder just how much you can handle? I think I have had plently of time to ponder that lately…

A few days ago, the doctor had drawn about 10 vials of blood from me to test for causes of my high platelet counts, and I am to have a CT scan soon. At this point, I really do not know what to think though. The more I read about the whole myeloproliferative disorder/disease information, the more it eats away at my hope and happiness.

Today, I simply had a bad day, which may be the cause of me being so down. I was invited.. still am, to a theme/costume New Year’s Eve party… the first time I have ever been invited to one.. usually I do all the inviting and no one shows up because there are bigger and better places to be, but I am not going simply because I am too tired to go. I worked long and hard today, enduring great amounts of stress, and it took its toll. I have no extra energy to spare, so I will just sit here, drink my Champagne and watch the ball drop on TV. I have really tried to put up a brave, happy front for everyone else’s sake about this blood disorder stuff, but secretly, it is eating my sack lunch, so-to-speak. I had horrible headaches all day today, ones that made it hard to concentrate or see at times. In fact, a few times, I had to seriously fight passing out from the dizzy spells. At one time, I finally gave in and just sat down on the floor with my head on my knees. At other times, it felt like my heart might just flutter out of my chest, but I seriously can’t tell anyone I love about this stuff because they are so worried as it is.

Then there is the whole dating front. I am like.. what dating would that be? My guy has all but virtually disappeared on me. I leave him messages from time-to-time, but they are getting fewer and farther between.. I figure why bother, he never has time to message me anymore. I couldn’t tell you the last time we actually talked.. he did not even take time to wish me a Merry Christmas. There is always an excuse, and I am not so stupid and naive as to believe that he is really working all the time. Supposedly he’s working all of these extra hours to save up for a trip later this year, one that he wanted to take me on.. so I wonder who I have really been replaced with. The only time I can force a response from him is when I tell him I will not message him again until he responds.. so I know he is reading them, but this one sided relationship is simply a sham. I am not that big a fool.. I have already walked those shoes earlier this year. THAT jerk hid our relationship because of “cultural reasons”, but he sure is not afraid to show off his new girlfriend, to take pictures with her, her friends, her family or with her and HIS friends.. the ones I was never allowed to meet. He likes to rub it in from time to time by messaging me. I suppose I could figure out how to use the message block on him, but somehow, I figure with all the bad stuff going on in my life right now, that I somehow have brought all of this on myself and therefore deserve every last bit of it. So, I will just have to live with things the way they are, and do the best I can to make it from day to day. I am simply done with dating.. I said that before, and let it creep up on me to slap me in the face once again. I guess I did not learn my lesson the first time, so life thought I needed to be shown once more how things really are and are going to be.

I am going to take a writing sabbatical as well because I simply do not have the energy or anything positive to say right now. I don’t want to always sound down in the dumps to everyone else and ruin their day too…

I have something to gripe about. I could have used an expletive, but what good would that do me?

I was recently told by a relative that they went to McDonald’s to eat in and were charged a “dine-in tax.” I honestly thought they were pulling my leg, but they were not. Yesterday, I decided to feed my craving for some McDonald’s chicken nuggets, and decided to dine-in instead of wasting gasoline going through the drive-thru. I decided to read my receipt and noticed that it was true, that I was being charged to DINE IN at their restaurant! WTH!?!? As if most restaurants don’t already charge us enough, now they are taxing us to sit down inside. That being said.. don’t they think of how much I am actually saving THEM in paper bags, lids, extra ketchup, parking lot clean-ups, etc by coming inside to eat, not to mention saving their employees from noxious fumes they are inhaling by working drive-thru, plus the electricity they are saving. If I am going to be charged a tax, then I expect more for my money to dine-in. Such as more comfortable seating, free desserts, a free upsize or simply something to justify this extra cost to me. This whole situation just rubs me wrong and somehow seems illegal to me. This is going to definitely be added to my pet-peeve list!

Only time can tell what tomorrow may bring…

I have been pretty quiet as of late. I was on a vacation from work the week before last, and honestly, I just needed a break/vacation from the world as I know it. I am feeling quite refreshed after my little siesta.

For my vacation, I pretty much left town the entire week. I went to my parents, which was fantastic. It was totally refreshing to be away from everything I see on a DAILY basis.. it was nice to simply be HOME!

This past week though, I had to follow up with my general practitioner (GP) after having bloodwork drawn in response to an infection I had developed. So below.. is the rest of the story..

Approximately 3 & 1/2 weeks ago, I had a minor accident that left me a bit lame in the leg. It all started when I accidently broke the lid on one of my Corningware bakeware dishes. I CAREFULLY placed the broken shards IN A BOX in the trashcan. Next night, I decided to clean the apartment, which I traditionally do later in the evening.  So, about 11pm, I gathered up the trash, and decided to take out the garbage bag because I knew it had the broke glass in it, and I did not want to forget to take it out since the next morning was trash day. As, I was walking out from under the breezeway of my half of my apartment building, I felt something barely brush my leg. I simply thought it was a box in the trashbag… and I was sooooo wrong! As I walked back into my breezeway, and had nearly reached my door, I felt a pain in my right calf, looked down, and to my horror, noticed blood welling up and gushing out of my leg. At first, I really thought.. whoa, that really made a bad scrape.. but it didn’t hurt then.. and then realized, uh no, it was NOT a scrape I was looking at, I was seeing the INSIDE of my calf. Apparently, a shard had either escaped the box in the bag when I took the bag out of the can OR it has sliced straight through the box. It cut a perfectly straight, nearly 3 inch slash a centimeter deep into the right side of my right calf.

Well, I knew I had to get the bleeding under control ASAP! I went inside my apartment, found my first aid kit, and prepared to get things under control. I used the antiseptic wipes from the kit, then held closed the laceration as best as I could while applying 8 butterfly bandages to it. Then, I packed sterile guaze on it, put a large bandage on that, and used surgical tape to apply pressure to the wound. After that, I propped my leg up above heart level and covered up with a blanket because I remember feeling a bit cold. Later, I realized, thanks to someone else pointing it out, that I had gone into shock. But, I did still have enough sense to get on the internet and look up what do to do in this case.. if I could put off a trip to the emergency room (ER) or not. According to SEVERAL informational and RELIABLE websites (some sites that I have access to because of my pharmacy technician license thank goodness!), since the glass had not severed a major artery, was not above the knee, and only showing subcutaneous fat tissue, I had a maximum of 12 hours to be seen before complications would set in. So no, I did not go to the emergency room. Not the best idea, but not the worst either. I simply could not afford a huge bill that I would have received from the ER on top of my ER copay. In a tight economy, it is money I simply do not have.. which I am embarassed to admit, and because honestly I did not want to be put out on the street and end up homeless due to it. Scary to know that things have gotten THAT bad!

So, next morning, I got up early and got myself to the minor emergency (a regular copay with my insurance) after finding out my GP was booked up past noon. Upon arriving, I was seen within 30 minutes.. By the time the nurses/doctor got around to looking at it, it had been almost 10 hours since the accident. The doctor informed me that they do not like to close up lacerations after 8 hours, but, since the wound was so cleanly cut, they felt they could still get it done since it had not gone past 12 hours. Upon removal of the bandages.. especially the butterflies, the wound decided to bleed out quite a bit. In the end, the doctor ended up putting 11 metal staples in my leg! He informed me I could have gone to the ER, but I was probably right in my assumption of not being seen in under the same amount of hours as had already passed (scary thought huh?) by waiting to go to the minor emergency clinic. The doctor informed me of some stuff to look out for.. signs of infection, prescribed antibiotics, instructed me on how to care for the laceration, and sent me on my way with a warning to stay off of it as much as possible.

Well, staying off of the leg proved nearly impossible at first.. work simply could not hardly accomodate it.. and by Sunday, I was experiencing huge feverish spells on top of swelling and sweats by the wound. Tuesday morning, I woke up with fever and severe, whole body chills.. as soon as the minor emergency opened, I called them, and was told to get there ASAP. They did an X-ray to verify no glass remained in my leg, drew blood to culture, gave me a HUGE shot of clindamycin (and yes, my backside STILL hurts slightly from THAT shot), and changed my antibiotic to one of the most powerful available without being hospitalized.

The Saturday after Thanksgiving, things were looking up. The staples were removed, and no sign of infection remained, but my bloodwork results were still not back from the lab. Monday, I called the minor emergency and was informed that I needed to follow-up with my GP as soon as possible because of an irregularity that showed up in my bloodwork lab results. Apparently, my white blood cell (WBC) count came back normal (which is abnormal with severe infections) and my platelet count came back way too high. This was the week of my vacation, and since I could not get into my doctor’s office any sooner than the following Monday, I headed home, because home is where the heart is.. truly.

During my appointment, my GP explained that she felt the results were simply a lab error, which is actually quite common. She wanted to retest my bloodwork using their labs, and would let me know the results once they were back in. She explained that too many platelets could lead to severe, life-threatening blood clots, but told me not to worry because she felt the results were off. Her theory was the WBC count being normal proved lab error since it was not elevated while I had a bad and obvious infection, but wanted to make sure of this. She informed me we would repeat the test in 1 month if the results came back normal or would send me to see a hemetologist if they did not, alternatively though, suggesting I see a cardiologist for some other weird problems I have been experiencing.

The reason she wanted me to see the cardiologist is due to my blood pressure’s crazy, yet drastic dropping that it keeps doing. In fact, it was on the normal, but low side that very morning, which she had noticed. She asked about dizzy spells, which I have frequently had my whole life.. I just thought it was normal.. and apparently, it is not LOL. Well, I did not get the appointment made because I decided to wait out the test results.

The results are in…. and it is not good news. The original test results were not a fluke due to lab errors.. the second test’s results came back verifying the first as of yesterday. I am being referred to a specialist in blood disorders. Apparently, the leg laceration might have been a blessing in disguise, simply because I have blood work done every year during my yearly checkup because my mom has Graves’ disease (which I do not have.. yet). None of my other results have ever came back skewed in comparison to the norm… until now. What does this mean? Honestly.. I don’t really know. After doing some research, several medical websites suggests that thrombocytemia (high platelet counts) can cause major blood clots, which can lead to strokes or heart attacks if they break loose, OR, if left unchecked, can cause the WBCs to get out of whack, leading to leukemia or other cancers of the bone marrow. I have also learned that severe drops in blood pressure, cold hands and feet, dizzy spells, frequent nose bleeds, frequent, severe headaches, etc are ALL symptoms of having high platelets. My mom suggested it is due to the meds I have to take for another genetically inherited disease I was lucky enough to inherit *please note my use of sarcasm here*. I then reminded her of the dizzy spells, headaches, and nose bleeds I have had since early childhood.. before I ever had to take a single maintenance medication for my condition. And.. when I was in high school, I tried to donate blood several times, and I was finally told not to do so anymore because my blood was too thick.. it clots too fast. It takes over 1 & 1/2 hours to get half a pint from me.. Coincidence.. I think not.

At this point, I feel partially stupid and partially embarassed. All of the warning signals have been there, but in my ignorance, I could have never ever imagined putting them together as a warning for what was to come. Further updates will come your way as I have them, but for now, I am very down and disheartened. I also gave the guy I am seriously dating the option of an out at this point because illness will either make or break a relationship. He informed me of how he was quite offended at me for offering that, that he has no intention of leaving me anytime soon.. that was support I really needed..